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Busting Myths: 'Talent', 'Mastery', 'Gurus', 'Ideal Partner/Soul Mate'...

I’m in a myth-busting mood, so here are my thoughts about a few of them…

The ‘Talent’ Myth

We tend to think that some people are naturally more talented than others, but (as I teach in my Writing Mastery course) talent is a very misunderstood word!

Self-Coaching - Listening to our Inner Coach

Have you ever put other people on a pedestal, discounting your own intuition and following their advice rather than your own feelings?

Have you ever assumed that others know more than you about your own business, family, health, life? It’s easily done, isn’t it? Especially when they come with white coats and clipboards and awards and letters after their names and big numbers in their bank accounts.

Harnessing 'Should'

- Extract the gold from your pesky inner voices!

You’ve probably had the ‘should’ thought plenty of times – 'I should be more positive/ call my mum/ eat more vegies/ be more patient/ get more exercise/ be nicer to so-and-so', etc. If you’ve been playing in the personal development arena, you know that ‘should’ is a dirty word. You might even have been told, ‘Don’t should on yourself’. Great advice.

I'm Cured!

Rosemary McCallumMeet Dr Rosemary McCallum, metaphysician, author, speaker, and wise woman. I’ve just enjoyed a few months in her consulting room talking about one of my 'dark little secrets’, and the red-lips-kiss on her cheek is the imprint of my kiss of thanks! (via my blurry photographic unskills…)

Here’s the ‘backstory’:

Over the last few years I’ve achieved quite a lot. I can literally say that I am living my dreams because it was always a dream of mine to have a close-knit, loving family and be a published author, especially one who is popularising universal laws. Tick, tick, tick! 

But I’ve often felt frustrated because it seemed to me that many of my goals were taking forever to be realised. Being a ‘mastery’ author, I often felt embarrassed about this, as if I was somehow failing. I’d compare myself with others and find myself wanting.

As I applied myself to understanding this dynamic, I came to understand that I was resoundingly successful in the areas of my highest values and still in process in the other areas, and that was theoretically okay (though not really because I wanted to be on top of all of it!). I came to understand that we are never ‘off track’ in our lives because every experience is part of the tapestry of our unfolding, and that was theoretically acceptable (though not really because I wanted to be on my preferred track all of the time!).

So when people made comments like, ‘Why don’t you use ‘The Mastery Club’ stuff to achieve your goals?’ I felt offended. What do you think I’m doing? I’d think indignantly. (And secretly I felt embarrassed or ashamed because they were ‘right’; I was clearly failing…)

However when I gave my presentation on the Be Who You Wanna Be Youth Summit on Thursday, I noticed that I was saying all the theory and really believing it!!! And when someone asked me, on Friday, ‘Do you ever wonder why things are taking so long to happen?’ I answered with 100% honesty, ‘I used to but now I know that everything is 100% perfectly on track and unfolding in perfect order and timing, and it always has been.'

I realised that I’m on a long time-frame because I’m birthing a big project. Things haven’t happened as fast as I thought they ‘should’ but, if I’m completely honest, I wouldn’t have been ready for big things before now anyway. I was prioritising being an available mother – now my kids are out in the world doing their own thing and I’m literally free to take off. Previously I knew my books were good and I had lots of offer but I still wasn’t massively confident. I was allowing the fact that it hadn’t all happened yet to undermine me. Now, as my work is being validated over and over again by all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds, I’m feeling way more confident and the larger time-frame and perspective is enabling me to see that it was all always on track, I just wasn’t seeing enough of the picture.

I’m relaxing and recognising that I’ve just been in process and that was where I was and this is where I am now and it’s all perfect.

So what does all of this have to do with a kiss for Rosemary? Because, sweetheart that she is, she has ‘held the space’ for me over the last few months as I talked through the places where I felt stuck until I was able to bring ‘all of me’ to this place of recognition of perfection, rather than just my intellect. Hence my (tongue in cheek) declaration when I arrived in her consulting room yesterday: ‘I’m cured!'

And really, there are lots more kisses to award – for Bruce Conrad-Williams, for Tanya Bewicke, for Tim Marlowe, for Dr Demartini, for Rowan Burn – all the people over the last few years who have tried to get me to see that it’s all perfect just as it is. Thanks, guys!

And thanks to me, for hanging in there and teaching what I most needed to learn over and over and over until the penny dropped and I learnt it.

Divine Order in Philomena - Spoiler Alert!!!

If you haven't yet seen the movie, Philomena, starring Judi Dench and Steve Coogan, you might not want to read this blog, but if you have, and you found your heart strings tugged by the young mother's pain in having her toddler ripped away from her and adopted out against her will, then you might find this blog useful.

Owning the Marketing Villain In Me

I've just had an eye-opening conversation with Emotional Mastery Expert and Demartini practitioner, Bruce Conrad Williams, who managed to get me to see something that was hiding away in my blind spot.

The world of publishing is quite transformed these days as so many self-publish rather than waiting for the external stamp of approval of a traditional mainstream publisher. There are obviously pros and cons to this scenario: on the 'pro' side, the barriers to publication are fewer than ever and writers are able to claim the profit from their book sales rather than just a ten percent royalty; on the 'con' side, more and more publishers are opting to not pay for contributions (one publication that used to pay me one and a half times the going rate now pays nothing at all because they are flooded with material) and many traditional publishers are redirecting applicants into their own self-publishing companies (establishments that used to be known as vanity presses, where the writer pays a fee to have their book published). The traditional publisher will watch the author's stats and if the results are good, pick up their work and publish it themselves. No risk to the traditional publisher, all risk to the author… It’s a brave new world.

The Peter Pan Principle

Did you read or watch Peter Pan when you were a child?

I remember being captivated by this story about a youth who is perpetually young and can do all sorts of magical things (like fly), and who lives an adventurous life battling crocs and evil pirates and looking after a band of lost kids!

As with most classic tales, there are a few profound truths being communicated despite the childlike surface story, not least of which is the fact that a one-sided, only-positive life is an illusion.

Do You ‘Crash and Burn’ or ‘Crash and Learn’?

How to extract the wisdom, opportunities and benefits from difficult experiences.

We’ve all heard the truism that it’s not how many times we fall down that matters, it’s how many times we get up. (And the other one about getting back on the horse.) Which is all good sense and we know they’re right, but it ain’t easy.

In fact, speaking for myself, I’m thinking of creating a business card that says, ‘Failure Expert’ because I seem to have a knack for screwing things up. I’m not sure that I would attract many willing clients, but perhaps if we all made a study of our ‘failures’, we’d be better able to transform our challenging situations.

How's Your 'Self-As-Team'?

If you've been following my writing and journey, you know that I'm pretty interested in the Law of Polarity – the fact that our universe is an expression of complementary opposites. Years ago, in my early 20s, I started to teach Creative Writing workshops, and without having a very deep understanding of polarity at that time, I was teaching it!

In the process, I coined an expression – 'Self-As-Team' – that fits in with everything I'm doing today. Here's a quick overview:

The Whole News: Author Bares All

When I returned from Bali with my swollen, churning belly, I didn't have the energy for anything but reading; it so happened that the page I was up to in my Demartini book delivered some profound insights that stopped me in my tracks. (Synchronicity yet again!) 

I shared these insights about how I was speaking the language of desperation ('have to', 'need to', 'must') in relation to my business in my previous blog, and that this emotional state of desperation had undermined my immune system. In the weeks since then, as I've continued to butt up against the issue of my apparent 'business failure', I've had more realisations that I hope will serve you as well.  

Free samples!


Just enter your details and one click will enable download of 1, 2 or 3 of the following:

• The 1st 4 chapters of my personal development novel, The Mastery Club – empower young people via an entertaining story.

• A 10-page report on ‘Busting the Talent Myth and Overcoming Writer’s Block’ – write your own stuff.

• An article and strategy for ‘Transforming Bullying by Drilling Communication Skills in Schools’ – transform bullying at school / home / work.

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Who is Liliane?

A writer, writing coach, teacher, speaker, editor, ghostwriter… 
I love creating worlds, both imaginary (fictional stories) and real (living consciously and deliberately)  and I love helping others to do those things too (write your books, create your reality). I also love providing safe, fun environments for learning phenomenal, empowering ideas about writing and life mastery / universal laws. To enquire or book me as a speaker, send me a line!